(Source of a picture: tumblr.com)
In the beginning I'd like to say that no woman should be ashamed of her period circle. I mean "Why?". It's a normal process, mark of us being a fully grown woman. It's such a shame that not much ladies know everything about a menstruation and that there are still some ladies that are ashamed and embarrased of talking about their period.
I suffer from Leiden V Mutation which is a blood mutation that causes an increase in blood clotting. Your doctor can find soon or later about this kind of a mutation. My doctor found out about the Leiden mutation soon. It was when I started to use a contraception. But I felt so bad after using a pills, so he gave me another ones but it caused the same. After testing few more products he admitted that something is not alright and sent me to the hospital for a blood tests. My hematologist found out about Leiden V Mutation.
It means that I can't use any contraception and I'm very predisposed to a vein thrombosis. It also means that if I ever will be a pregnant the baby won't born completely healthy or I won't be able to be pregnant at all. My doctor said that the probability of getting pregnant in my case is low but there is still a small chance. I was seventeen when he found out so I just waved my hand. Alright, I'll be careful.
I don't like kids and I never wanted to have any. But months ago I started to think about getting pregnant one day and I somehow collapsed. I mean, yes, I said that I never want have any children but what if one day some man appears and I will change my mind. So I started to cry because there is a small chance of getting a kids. I mean, my friends have children and they all like me for some reason. I feel somehow useless that I can't have any. I just don't feel like I am a woman. It's breaking me deep inside every day. I mean I can imagine being pregnant and I know I'd raise my babies perfectly. Couple of months ago I had even a dream about having a beautiful daughter. I still can remember her clearly. When I saw her she could be around her nine years old, she had a long dark hair and such a beautiful big green eyes. And so when I woke up, I cried because I will never saw her. It's just...not a lot women can imagine how I feel.
Period with a Leiden V Mutation is very painful. Not mentioning the mood. Hormones, thank you! Every period is a reminder for me that I just won't be a mother which is devastating to me. This months I'm almost four weeks late so I started to be worried.
Yet the pain, I felt very dizzy and weary. I was bleeding so much that I've been thinking about telling somebody to take me to hospital. But then I risked taking a painkiller and it made me sleep for like almost a three hours. I was like a living corpse in the beginning even mom said that I don't look well. But later when I woke up, I feel nothing. I was able to eat something even and I normally worked. But the beginning was very risky and I was terrified a bit.
Still I'm going to call my doctor soon because I don't find this process completely normal.
I'm sharing this story of mine with you because many young ladies and women shouldn't ignore their healthy. Your body can not speak, it just sends you some signs. Including a pain that something is not alright and we shouldn't ignore it. We shouldn't be scared about our problems, no words like "It's just a menstration, a pain is normal in this case". Because it's not. Pain is never normal, it can be less or more painful but through the pain our bodies are talking to us in this way, through these warning signs.
We live in 21st Century and a menstruation shouldn't be a taboo.
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